some memories haunt you
year after year, day after day…
they keep coming back
until you actually deal with them,
like nosy relatives that are just visiting you,
but then refuse to go away.
some memories never let you go.
they just stick by your side for years,
as you search high and low:
for answers about your dreadful past,
for feelings you had to bury deep, and fast,
for reasons to all those things you had to get past.
they stick by you through it all…
even after the faces involved fade away,
becoming mere shadows of that scary past,
which you tried so hard to forget for many dark years,
until she, “the scary relative” came back to get justice,
from those who wronged her, when she came to stay last.
sometimes it’s a recurring sound,
like the that of rain, hitting a busy pavement.
sometimes it’s a more visual sign,
like a hideously funny costume, on a perfect stranger.
and sometimes it’s much more simple,
as all it is, is a gut feeling,
that although your worst nightmare is over,
soon it’ll be back, just visiting.
Those are the days you want to stay in bed,
and pretend that you’re not really consumed with dread.
Those are the days you suffer sleepless nights,
because at night your dreams are so terrifying,
that they make you wish instead, that you were dead.
but even the longest visit has an end,
and eventually you find the strength
to get yourself out of your sheltered bed.
and once again, you let courage in
to your life, otherwise burdened with sin.
and once again, you discover reason to want to win,
the games of life you began to dread at eighteen,
when a single small mistake on one lonely night,
stole away everything for which you wanted to fight;
when a single touch of evil on a cold and gloomy night,
took your heart out of the game of love and hid it out of sight.
when the cold and unwelcome bite of that remorseless & smug snake,
poisoned your fragile and pretty skin,
destroying years of innocence that were at stake...
when one single night in the clutches of the serpent,
took away many years of pleasant experiences,
where you were taught to trust and to tell wrong apart from right.
The toxic snake, on that night, had gotten his evil wish,
when he caused you to once again conveniently forget,
how to love as well as be loved, the way you used to before all his bloodshed.
In this cruel and cynical world, now full only of regret,
he was the first ring in your long chain of misery,
for which all you can do now is quietly repent.
Hoping to someday erase all memories of him,
you once again begin your fight, surprisingly, on a whim,
And you step out of your self-imposed perpetual dark.
as you try to regain, your exhausted soul’s former spark.
