Tough

as she walked by the halls
she heard all the whispers…
the “cool” kids were all talking
of her alleged sins…
they were calling her a slut,
they were calling her a tease.
they were calling her names
that she couldn’t repeat without unease.

as she went into her classroom,
the talking suddenly stopped.
that’s how she knew the topic
was still something she’d fucked.
she was getting used to,
the isolation and the pain,
of having no one to
wipe her tears of shame,
(even if in vain…)
the stain of what was left of
her tortured heart’s remains,
was getting even harder,
to wash away with change.

as she heard the bell ringing,
she dreaded the coming hour.
lunch-time was the worst,
since it lasted a whole hour.
she headed to bathroom,
to spend lunch hiding there.
because she knew she couldn’t handle,
another judgmental stare.
she counted 60 minutes,
as she waited in the stalls.
flocks of girls would come and go,
giggling and joking about her woes.
she’d sit quietly and listen,
while they cruelly tore her apart.
she was afraid to let them see,
all this talk was breaking her heart.

as she walked back into the classroom,
she had tears in her eyes.
she had realized the gossip wasn’t over,
and it wouldn’t be, anytime soon,
not even if she really tried hard.
she fought to stay focused,
while her teachers kept talking…
but her mind wouldn’t slow down,
it just kept hurriedly walking…
from thought to thought…
from feeling to feeling…
holding back her tears.
as her life was unfolding,
she was still all alone and finally facing
each one of her greatest fears’ unveiling.

Loneliness was horrid,
but she managed it.
Then came anger,
but she overcame that too.
Last came bitterness,
which finally knocked her out.
She began to let life,
dangerously knock her around.

As she heard the final bell,
there was nothing left to tell.
She’d be leaving school, soon
and then she’d be going,
home to another hell.
It became a vicious cycle,
as the days just passed her by.
They quickly turned into years,
as she patiently waited to die.
There was nowhere left to turn to,
There was no one to ease her pain.
Everyone had left,
since they had nothing more to gain.

As she stepped outside the gate,
and wandered into the rain,
she tuned out all the whispers,
and listened to the rain,
and listened to her pain,
It sounded so peaceful, it sounded so serene.
She decided then and there
that she, would be the same.
She stopped foolishly caring,
about what people would say or do.
Soon what they thought became obsolete,
when she finally vowed to exist
for her own happiness solely,
and quit trying to please,
all those whispering crowds,
festering jealousy and disease.

The rain outside though heavy,
no longer seemed sad,
as she let it wash away her pain,
it even made her feel glad.
now all that was left
was a hard rock of a girl,
tough and cold
and truly more ready
for this cruel and mad world.
Book Recommendation on Female Empowerement

Slut!: Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation

by Leora Tanenbaum

tagged:
female-empowerment, inspirational, and women-empowerment