Firefly

FIREFLY

Another night, 

Another flight, 

And all I can hear is a silent cry. 

The firefly, 

blissfully ignorant, roams the sky 

while I breathe in the deafening quiet 

of another lonely night. 

No more strong arms, to hold me tight, 

No more butterfly kisses, to keep my days bright. 

I’m alone, as always, 

Loneliness has become my plight. 

All the music has gone away, faded into silence. 

Just like the loud empty shells of people that often gather around. 

Meaninglessly crowding the halls reserved for lost souls. 

And finally I am left drowning in my own tears, 

festering, covered in black holes. 

No love in my life to keep me going, 

No life in my love to keep the blood flowing. 

I stare at the firefly, 

blissfully ignorant of its fatal fate… 

My heart fills with envy, and my body aches. 

Wish I could be the firefly… 

burning & shinning bright, 

all the way, clueless until the very end, 

until darkness takes over my body 

& eternal silence buries my soul in its bowers and springs… 

What a peaceful way to go it would be, 

If only I could leave, believing in the lie that is life, 

So blissfully, clueless with naïve abandon, so obliviously! 

The mountain is calling my name, 

She’s asking me to dare to jump… 

But the silence beyond scares me senseless, 

I’m afraid to see myself naked to the bone, 

revealed, 

all alone. 

If only I could live without having to understand anything, 

If only I could be five again… 

Then I could jump, without fearing the end. 

Maybe then, I could end up happier without having to pretend! 

What sweet existence that would be, 

To roam in the dusk, to be a firefly 

To convince myself to gently kiss the starry night’s sky 

with my light burning out through shinning bright. 

I have lost myself, & shattered my soul, 

All in pursuit of my one true goal: 

To feel whole again, 

To go home again… 

That is my one true goal. 

That is the only desire of my otherwise immortal soul! 

The only desire of my immortal soul…

(thoughts from around the campfire in Uludag)