Hidden Rainbow

Stormy weather,

clouds whispering softly,

drawing in, nearer.

doom hangs around,

addictive like drugs from a dealer,

and in the mean time I cry,

I cry of loss,

I cry of pain,

I cry for a healer…

My nails on his back,

dig in, deeper and deeper.

I can’t let go for fear of the grim reaper.

At night he visits me in my bed, in my head,

wearing his many different faces,

all of them scary,

all of them uninvited in my dreams, 

wreaking havoc 

like the infamous killer of Elm Street, 

Freddy Krueger.

As I lie awake in the morning,

the fear floats away 

with the dawning of the day,

and dark, lifting, 

light, breaking through the screen of horror

another night is survived, another battle just barely won.

And somehow miraculously,

I still find the strength to go on.

I still find the strength to go on.

Stormy weather,

clouds whispering softly,

drawing in, nearer.

doom hangs around,

addictive like drugs from a dealer,

and in the mean time I cry,

I cry of loss,

I cry of pain,

I cry for a healer…

I’m waiting for the sun,

I’m waiting for my strength.

Don’t know why, but

They both love to make me wait.

In anger I’m consumed fully,

As I shake my head in agony,

captivated in a livid & perplexing rage…

someone must be accountable,

someone must pay, 

the price, for destroying what was once, 

so innocent, so nice!

But my wait is in vain,

for no one sees the world through my eyes,

no one feels this pain that never dies,

and no one hears the vicious chatter,

hidden, among the whispering clouds, 

rapidly flooding my skies.

They can’t understand loss,

Since they don’t feel my pain.

All they keep seeing in the mirror is,

the rainbow after the rain.

Ignorance is their bliss.

They do not wish to know “of “ the pain,

All they want to hear about is 

the rainbow after the rain!

The rainbow after the rain…

In the mean time I’m waiting for the light,

at the end of the tunnel, 

in the final round of my fight.

I’m waiting for my savior, 

to take me out of this rainy puddle, 

and into the sunlight.

Don’t know why, but the wait seems to be taking forever,

Forever and ever and another long, dreary night!

I scour the skies for a sign,

And there’s no sign of my healer.

No sun, to bring out the rainbow after the rain,

No chance of harmony,

around the bend, once I’ve overcome the pain…

No loving support to help me through the stormy weather.

No evidence of happiness 

as I near the end, when not much is left to gain…

Without someone to temper my catty anger,

Or someone to love and pamper me as I purr,

Or someone to gently stroke my regal mane,

I am left outside in the cold stormy winter: alone, naked,

Still waiting for the rainbow after the rain.

Searching tirelessly for the silver lining,

The reward, after all the hardships and the pain.

I’m waiting for the sun,

I’m waiting for my strength…

I’m waiting for the light,

I’m waiting for my savior…

But the wait is in vain.

My wait is in vain.

Nothing takes away my pain.

Nothing frees me of my crippling chain.

I’m a rebel at heart 

and now I can see that I need the pain.

In order to go on,

In order to create,

I need the pain as well as the chain.

I need the gruesome contradictions,

as well as the rainbow after the rain.

I’m chasing the sun,

day and night,

just to get a single glimpse in the mirror,

of the rainbow after the rain.

I see her from a distance, 

Full of fragrant color and luminous hope,

She emanates beauty and oozes harmony, 

diligently inspiring peace.

I suppose she could be,

the rest of my life’s missing piece!