Small

When I See You See Me...
With just one look
You can make me shrink...
With a tiny glance
I don't even stand a chance...
Because when you look at me
All high and mighty,
eyes full of pity, disapprovingly...
The only thing that sticks with me
Is that i feel small... So small...


It didnt used to be that way...
Back when i still knew me...
Back when my dreams were still a possibility...
You would look at me funny and maybe even drunk,
And i managed to find hope, every once in a while
Against all odds...
That you would some day look at me different,
That you would for some reason
change your perspective one day, out of the blue...
And like what you see,
In me...

But those days are long over.
It's all in the past...
Now, I've learned
Nothing good in life lasts.
I've learned to stop dreaming,
When the dreams stop making sense.
So all I could see in your eyes,
If i still had the foolhardy courage to even look,
Would be a disgusted and horrified reaction
To the mess that is now, all me... Small me...

Still small though packaged much larger, messy me...